Planning a Memorial Service & Unique Ways to Honor a Loved One
Planning a memorial service while navigating your own grief is an emotionally challenging experience but one that many people face. In addition to traditional funerals and memorial services, there are many unique ways to memorialize a loved one. Explore how to plan a memorial service that honors your loved one in a personalized, meaningful way.
Key Takeaways
- Plan the details of the service to stay organized.
- Capture the person’s personality and religious and cultural beliefs.
- Invite others into the planning process.
How to Plan a Memorial Service for Yourself or a Loved One
Memorial services play a significant role in the healing process for many people. Gathering with friends and family to honor the deceased allows you to share stories, remember their life, and support others who are also grieving. Planning a memorial service in the midst of your grief can feel overwhelming. The following steps walk you through how to plan a memorial service that honors your loved one.
1. Choose the Overall Direction
Before you plan any details, decide on the overall direction and feel you want for the memorial service. Do you want a traditional service with a specific agenda or an informal, casual event? Perhaps you want a theme for the memorial service that reflects who your loved one was. Some families request that guests wear bright colors or the favorite color of the deceased to honor them. These details help you plan the details.
Funeral industry writer Sarah Stasik also says families should consider the wishes of their loved one when planning a memorial service.
Some people include their desires for funeral or memorial services in their preplanning process, and they may have written down themes or details they want for these services. Consider how you can honor those wishes as you plan.
Sarah Stasik, Funeral Industry Writer
2. Schedule the Service
It’s often impossible to find a date and time that works for everyone who wants to attend. Focus on the loved ones and people who are close to the deceased to ensure they can attend. Factor in holidays, local events, and other potential conflicts that would keep people from attending or limit vendor options. Evening and weekend memorial services allow more people to attend without taking time off from work.
3. Secure a Location
Choose a venue based on what you plan to do during the service. Capacity is another consideration. Estimate how many guests might attend to find a space that fits everyone comfortably. For an informal outdoor memorial service, a backyard, or city park offers a suitable location. Your budget is also a consideration if you rent a venue.
4. Identify a Person to Lead the Memorial Service
Having one person to host or lead the memorial service keeps the day organized and running smoothly. A family member or loved one might feel comfortable handling the job for an informal memorial service. If not, consider a religious figure, professional contact, or professional officiant. Choosing someone who knows your loved one often makes the service more personal, but you can share details with a hired officiant to help them personalize it.
5. Develop a Schedule
Map out each part of the memorial service to keep activities on track. This includes opening speeches, readings, music, speeches from loved ones, and any other activities you want to include. Create a printed schedule of the event to share with guests so they know what to expect.
6. Select the Music, Poems, and Other Tributes
With the outline developed, you can fill in the specific slots with songs, poems, religious quotes or readings, and other tributes you want to share. If you want live music, arrange for a soloist and musicians. Recorded music offers an affordable option.
7. Ask People to Speak
In addition to the person leading the service, you might invite others to share a story, read a passage, or otherwise speak to the audience. Identify people who want to participate or who you think would add to the service. Invite them to speak, whether they write their own speeches or read the passages you select.
8. Create a Tribute Slideshow
A common way to honor your loved one is with a tribute slideshow or video. Put together photos and video clips set to music that you can play on a loop. Invite other friends and family members to contribute to add variety to the slideshow. Another popular option is to print photos and create display boards to showcase your loved one’s life.
9. Plan a Menu
Memorial services often include a reception or meal at the end. This informal gathering time gives you more opportunities to share stories, console one another, and connect with others who cared about your loved one. Consider the timing of the event to decide if you want to serve a full meal or a light menu, such as snacks or desserts. Some places of worship and social clubs volunteer to provide food for memorial services when one of their members passes away. Other options include making the food yourself, holding a potluck, or catering the event.
10. Send Invitations
With the details in place, you’re ready to create and send invitations. Paper invitations offer a sentimental keepsake for guests, but you can also use online invitations or create a Facebook event.
11. Secure People to Help Set Up
As the date approaches, ask other family members or friends to help with specific setup activities. This ensures you have support and makes the setup process faster and easier.
Cultural & Religious Considerations When Planning a Memorial Service
As you plan the memorial service, it’s important to consider the cultural and religious beliefs of the person you’re honoring. Even if you don’t share the same beliefs or practices, the memorial service is about the person you lost. If you’re not familiar with the cultural or religious practices of the deceased, talk with close family members to find ways to incorporate them.
Unique Ways to Memorialize a Loved One
Finding unique ways to memorialize a loved one helps you personalize the service. Some options encourage you to keep their memory alive long after the memorial service. Consider these unique options when planning a memorial service.
Plant a Tree or Garden
A memorial tree or garden gives everyone a place to go and remember the person you lost. Planting the garden and caring for the plants is healing to some people. Incorporate the person’s favorite plants when possible to make it more personalized.
Build a Memorial Bench
A similar option is a memorial bench that people can visit to feel close to the person. Work with a local park to create a memorial bench or build one on private property.
Organize Donations or a Volunteer Event
Hold a fundraising event based on the person’s interests. Families often request donations for an organization based on the person’s life or cause of death. Examples include cancer research or suicide prevention campaigns. Alternatively, volunteer as a group for a meaningful organization to honor your loved one.
Decorate a Memorial Item
It can help guests heal and process the loss by asking them to create something. For example, invite guests to write their favorite memories on a card and add them to a scrapbook. Another option is to create a memory capsule, similar to a time capsule. Ask guests to bring photos, notes, and other items they want to put inside the memory capsule. You can plan to get together on a future date to look through the items and continue remembering your loved one.
Organize an Interactive Display
Add to the usual photo display with interactive objects. Display the person’s favorite belongings so people can touch them and feel closer to the deceased.
Hold the Memorial Service at a Unique Location
Break free from the traditional funeral home with a location that represents your loved one. Gather at a local baseball diamond for a memorial game to honor a huge baseball fan, for instance. You can even make it a trip with a destination memorial service at the beach or in the mountains.
Ensure you plan ahead and obtain any reservations and permits necessary for these unique celebrations. It’s especially important to review local and state laws and get landowner permission if you plan to spread ashes as part of a memorial.
Sarah Stasik, Funeral Industry Writer
Honor Your Loved One With Unique Services
Finding ways to memorialize a loved one that represents their values and life allows you to honor their memory. Planning a memorial service is emotionally challenging, but it lets you pour your love for the deceased into a meaningful service and a final tribute to their life.
Written by Shelley Frost
Shelley Frost holds a degree in education and has amassed a diverse writing portfolio primarily covering business, marketing, home improvement and senior living topics. Before moving to full-time freelancing, she worked in insurance, software testing and education, giving her a broad range of real-world skills to apply to her writing. She prides herself on her creativity and ability to capture the voice of each client. In her free time, Shelley enjoys decorating cakes, gardening, crafting, traveling and attending her kids' many school activities.
Edited by Katelynne Shepard
Katelynne Shepard is a writer, editor and SME who is proficient at crafting and reviewing content. She has been a full-time copywriter and editor since 2011 and has written content for Fortune 500 companies, independent law firms, indie publishers, small-business owners and mainstream websites. She specializes in parenting, lifestyle, family law, personal injury, criminal law, immigration law, astrology, personal finance, education and health care. In addition to thousands of e-commerce product and category descriptions, Verle's work includes SEO blogs, social media posts and long-form informational articles.
Subject Matter Expert Sarah Stasick
Sarah Stasik is a Six Sigma project manager and freelance writer who covers topics ranging from personal finance and small business management to insurance and healthcare. Prior to making the move from corporate ladder to freelance shuffle, Sarah worked as a Revenue Cycle Manager for a Fortune 500 healthcare business. https://sarahstasik.com/