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Understanding End-of-Life & What to Expect

By: Alana Luna • Edited by: Katelynne Shepard • Subject Matter Expert Reviewed by: Brindusa Vanta, MD • 3 cited sources • Updated Nov 11, 2024

End of life is something we’ll all experience at some point in different ways. Experts estimate that there are about 29 million people across the globe in need of some type of end-of-life care as of 2023^[1]. In the United States, we say goodbye to an average of 7,000 people per day who succumb to various illnesses. These statistics serve as a broad look at how necessary end-of-life care is, but the truth is that dying is a very personal process for patients and loved ones alike.

As you prepare for the end of life, either for a loved one or beginning to plan for yourself, understanding the process and how you can prepare for grief and irrevocable changes can pave the way for peace, acceptance, and an outpouring of love.

Key Takeaways

• End-of-life is the stage when a person approaches the end of their biological life cycle.
• Accepting that death is a natural and inevitable part of life can help you prepare emotionally and practically.
• Planning for end-of-life might include deciding on palliative or hospice care, making funeral arrangements, and seeing to financial and legal concerns.
• Terminally ill individuals and their loved ones can benefit from open communication, support groups, and professional help.

What Is End-of-Life?

The end-of-life stage is often viewed as the culmination of the aging process — the body is declining in function and gradually moving toward a place where life will no longer be sustainable. But the term can also be applied to any person facing the end of their biological life cycle due to illness or injury versus old age.

The explanation may sound clinical, but it rightfully acknowledges the fact that the end-of-life is natural and unavoidable. It’s every bit as much a part of the human lifespan as being born, going through puberty, getting your wisdom teeth, and so on.

Understanding the inevitability and universal existence of death can be helpful when preparing for end-of-life and especially useful when trying to balance the emotional and practical components of caring for someone who is terminal.

End-of-Life Stages & Symptoms

The end-of-life process has its own sub-stages marked by a range of physical, emotional, and psychological symptoms^[2]. It starts several weeks to months before death, with smaller signs like a decrease in appetite, an increase in fatigue and weakness, and more time spent on reflection and bonding with close friends and family.

The middle stage comes next, when mobility is reduced, sleep becomes increasingly difficult, and terminal patients may experience the beginning of acceptance and a growing desire for reassurance and comfort.

The late stage of the end-of-life process comes days or even hours before death, and symptoms range from a coma-like deep sleep to marked physical and emotional struggles.

Getting to know these stages and the arc of symptoms that accompany this journey can help caretakers and those nearing the end of their own lives prepare for what’s ahead.

Cheyne-Stokes respiration is a unique pattern of breathing defined by alternating periods of deep, rapid breathing followed by shallow, slow breaths or brief periods of no breathing at all. It is seen in people with conditions like heart failure and also in individuals nearing the end of life.

Dr. Brindusa Vanta, MD

What You Should Expect at the End of a Loved One’s Life

As your loved one nears the end of their biological life cycle, it’s completely normal to feel an array of emotions. Trying to find your footing as a caretaker, friend, and/or family member while also taking a moment to acknowledge your own grief can be difficult. Finding your foundation in facts and taking advantage of resources can help you deal with grief and provide comfort even in the most difficult moments.

How to Find Comfort When Dealing With Grief

Grieving a terminally ill loved one is a deeply personal and challenging experience, but there are some strategies that can help you navigate the end-of-life process with grace and acceptance.

• Express your feelings: It may not be appropriate to unburden yourself to your loved one, but you can use journaling, support groups, or other creative outlets to release emotions safely and respectfully.
• Build a support network: Lean on family, friends, other grieving individuals, and professionals to find religious, emotional, and practical support.
• Plan for after death: Having a plan for after your loved one passes can help you navigate that sensitive and emotional time without having to come up with ideas when you’re at your lowest. You might establish a foundation or scholarship in their name or volunteer for an organization close to their heart.

Ways to Comfort Loved Ones at the End-of-Life

• Open the lines of communication: Discuss your loved one’s wishes surrounding end-of-life care, funeral arrangements, and legacy projects. This gives you confidence you’re honoring them as they wish. Some of these wishes can and should be documented officially using advanced care directives. This is also a good time to organize wills and financial information, giving your loved one even more peace of mind.
• Be a sounding board: Allow your loved one to express their emotions, even when it’s painful for you. Venting or looking for reassurance is normal. If they’re feeling nostalgic, feed into that emotion by bringing in old photo albums, sharing your own memories, or just listening to and absorbing stories you might have never heard before.
• Bring all loved ones into the loop: When someone is terminal, distance and discord have a way of evaporating. Focus on the love you have in common instead of differences, and use mutual support to send off those in the end-of-life stage with love and peace.

What Is End-of-Life Care?

End-of-life care is the love, attention, and holistic assistance we give to loved ones and patients who are at the end of their biological lives. Holistic includes emotional support as well as medical care that emphasizes comfort over curative measures.

There are two main types of end-of-life care^[3]:

• Palliative care. Palliative care is specialized medical care given to patients living with a serious illness, such as cancer or chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD), with a focus on continued quality of life. Patients receiving palliative care may be relatively healthy but struggling with an incurable disease and looking for help living with discomfort and/or disability.
• Hospice. Hospice care is specifically for terminal individuals who are approaching the end of their biological lifespan. There are no longer any curative treatments in place, and all medical intervention is concerned with comfort, including pain management, as the end-of-life process runs its course. In most cases, hospice patients have an estimated 6 months or less to live.

The Importance of Planning for End-of-Life Care

It’s not always possible to plan ahead for end-of-life care, but if you or someone you know is terminal, laying out a blueprint for the last few months of life can be incredibly calming. Knowing what’s ahead, who will be around you, where you will spend your final days, and what will happen to your loved ones and belongings after you pass reduces stress and ensures your wishes are respected.

If you’re a caretaker or loved one watching someone you care about traverse the end-of-life process, you stand to get the same benefits from planning for all the post-death scenarios and ceremonies. As you plan, you’re:

• Respecting your loved one’s preferences and autonomy regarding end-of-life care and funeral arrangements
• Decreasing the likelihood of disagreements amongst grieving loved ones
• Creating documentation, including wills and trusts, that can be used in the event of a disagreement
• Laying the groundwork for everything that must be done post-death, giving you freedom from decision-making and more time to grieve and rest

Support in a Time of Transition: Next Steps in Prepared for End-of-Life Care

Whether you’re terminal yourself or caring for a loved one who is nearing the end, preparing for end-of-life care and the emotions that come with it can be unbelievably complex. By understanding the inevitability of death and all the organizational responsibilities that come with it, you can begin managing your own grief while also giving the person you love a dignified and respectful end-of-life experience. That starts with an open and honest conversation, leveraging resources available to you through local health care and grief support organizations, and making room for a full range of feelings.

Written by Alana Luna

Alana Musselman (Luna) is a versatile storyteller with over a decade of experience writing for diverse industries. Her writing has been featured on prestigious brands such as WW (Weight Watchers), Amazon, and Penta.

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Edited by Katelynne Shepard

Katelynne Shepard is a writer, editor and SME who is proficient at crafting and reviewing content. She has been a full-time copywriter and editor since 2011 and has written content for Fortune 500 companies, independent law firms, indie publishers, small-business owners and mainstream websites. She specializes in parenting, lifestyle, family law, personal injury, criminal law, immigration law, astrology, personal finance, education and health care. In addition to thousands of e-commerce product and category descriptions, Verle's work includes SEO blogs, social media posts and long-form informational articles.

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Subject Matter Expert Brindusa Vanta, MD

Dr. Brindusa Vanta is a healthcare professional, researcher, and medical subject matter expert . She earned her MD degree from "Iuliu Hatieganu" University of Medicine, Romania. She has a special interest in mental health and has collaborated with psychologists and other mental health practitioners on various research projects focused on therapies to manage depression, age-related cognitive decline, trauma and stressor- related conditions.