Key Differences Between Eulogies & Remembrances with Examples
When it’s time to say goodbye, you may have an opportunity to honor a loved one’s memory through a speech or celebratory event. Whether you’re preparing a eulogy or planning a special remembrance, there are some guidelines and expert tips that can help you craft a funeral speech or other tribute that’s both respectful and sentimental.
Key Takeaways
- A eulogy is a speech that’s typically somewhat somber and given during a funeral or other formal memorial service.
- A remembrance is usually less formal and can be anything from a speech or poem to a concert or cookout.
- Eulogies often focus more on biographical facts, remembrances are more about the person’s accomplishments and values.
- All tributes should be positive and heartfelt.
What Is a Eulogy?
A eulogy is the speech given at a memorial service or funeral in honor of someone who has recently passed away. Some services contain several eulogies, including speeches given by a religious leader, close friends, and family members. For instance, there may be a eulogy by a minister followed by eulogies written by the deceased’s spouse and best friend.
How to Write a Eulogy for a Loved One
When considering how to write a eulogy that’s both personal and respectful, a few tips can help you navigate the process with minimal stress and uncertainty.
- Reflect and research. Think about the person you’ve lost, what their life was like, and how they impacted those around them. Collect stories from others to paint a well-rounded picture of a well-lived life.
- Build an outline. Create an outline that includes a chronological overview of the person’s life.
- Write the actual eulogy. Expand each bullet point, sprinkling in a few heartfelt personal anecdotes. Make it personal, but don’t lose sight of how the deceased would want to be remembered.
- End with a sentimental and personal conclusion. The last part of your eulogy should be a summary of sorts, but it’s also your chance to say a final goodbye.
- Review, revise, and ask for opinions. Read through your finished eulogy. Have you kept it positive and focused on joy and laudable accomplishments? Is it a celebration? Is it clearly written, authentic, and personal? In some cases, you may want others’ opinions, but it’s okay to have the final say in your own eulogy too.
Eulogy Examples
A typical eulogy might contain six or so sections:
- Introduction
- Life Overview
- Personal Anecdotes
- Impact on Others
- Values and Beliefs
- Conclusion
Here’s an example of a eulogy:
“Good morning, all.
I’m Lisa, and I’m here today to remember and honor my dear Uncle John — or as you may know him, Uncle Bubba.
Uncle Bubba was born in the rain in the parking lot of Kentucky Memorial Hospital in 1955. He was the youngest of three and, according to his mama Mable, the biggest handful. But he was also unbelievably bright, frequently taking apart the family’s toasters and lamps just to “see how they work.”
It’s no surprise that Bubba grew up to be an educational powerhouse, attending the University of Kentucky and then Stanford University, ultimately graduating with a master’s degree in engineering. When he passed, he held 19 patents that brought him an incredible amount of joy and satisfaction.
Uncle Bubba was also a mentor, a teacher, and an ally who supported learning in all of its diverse forms. Though he never married, he was an honorary parent and leader to many.
I remember a time when I was struggling in school, and he sat me down and told me a story about blowing up his whole station in chem lab. Definitely made my C on a bio test seem insignificant.
I’ll forever remember Uncle Bubba, our dear John, as someone who taught me that generosity is a virtue. Volunteering is important. Understanding history is power. And love never, ever fades away.
Rest in peace, Uncle Bubba. I’ll miss you forever and remember you always.”
What Is a Remembrance?
A remembrance is another way to honor someone who has recently died. A remembrance can be a speech, but it can also be a beautifully written poem or news article, a ceremony months or a full year after the death, or something far more creative, such as a tree planting or a lantern lighting.
How to Write a Remembrance to Honor the Deceased
Writing a remembrance looks very similar to how you’d prepare to write a eulogy, but with more focus on celebrating who the person was versus how they lived. Skip the chronological retelling of their birth and schooling. Instead, gather memories and stories from their inner circle to paint a picture of what they found funny, what they cared about, and who cared about them.
Remembrance Speech Examples
Your remembrance speech can be as organized or wild as you wish. It hinges on what you feel would honor the individual being memorialized. It doesn’t even have to be a speech. It might be a spoken word piece, a song, a work of art, or an article printed in the publication they used to write for.
A basic remembrance speech follows this simple outline:
- Introduction
- Personal Stories
- Impact on Others
- Reflections/Takeaways
- Conclusion
Here’s an example:
“Hello, everyone.
I’m Mateo, here to remember the sauce-covered dynamo that was Nonna P.
I can’t remember a time when I would walk into my grandmother’s house and be greeted by anything other than the unforgettable aromas of garlic and Asiago cheese. Sometimes, I think she dabbed oregano on her pulse points. Her love for cooking was undeniable, but what I think most people remember even more was how she used every dish of pasta or whole grilled fish to deliver a heaping helping of love.
One of my favorite memories isn’t Sunday supper or a Christmas table laden with colorful entrees, but the weekly trip to the soup kitchen where Nonna P would whip up a huge vat of sauce and roll meatballs by the hundred. From the time I could stand, I rolled with her, my meatballs evolving from misshapen lumps to perfectly round orbs that would feed the hungry and houseless.
I learned so much more than cooking. I learned compassion, selflessness, and how tomatoes can be used to remind the forgotten that there’s someone who cares.
Today, as we say goodbye, I call on everyone here to enjoy Nonna P’s meatballs and sauce — available in the hall after the service — and make a plan to give back, just as she did, with love, empathy, and grace.”
What Is the Main Difference Between Eulogies and Remembrances?
Eulogies and remembrances are both given by family and friends in honor of a recently passed loved one. But while the intent and emotion may be universal, there are some key differences between the two methods of celebration and recognition.
- Method of delivery. Eulogies are written speeches typically given in a formal setting, such as a funeral service or memorial mass. Eulogies may be delivered by anyone from a family member to a clergyperson. Remembrances take many forms, from a silly speech to a full concert event, leaving room for personalization and creativity.
- Content. Eulogies tend to be more straightforward, focusing on an accounting of the individual’s life and achievements. The speech might discuss the person’s children, awards, professional accomplishments, and collection of marathon medals. Remembrances are often full of personal stories, multimedia tributes, and personal stories that shed light on who the person was at heart.
A lot of overlap exists in the content of eulogies and remembrances. Sarah Stasik, funeral industry writer, notes that loved ones may want to work together to plan cohesive memorials or funeral services.
Someone might be tasked with giving a traditional eulogy that highlights the deceased’s life — perhaps even a pastor speaking at the funeral. Then, loved ones can share remembrances that demonstrate what the person meant to them or relate funny or personal stories that help everyone present honor the deceased.
Sarah Stasik, Funeral Industry Writer
Finding the Right Words to Remember Your Loved One
Funerals are so personal, as are remembrances and eulogies. But it’s also an opportunity to honor the life of someone you cared for deeply. Take time to think about your feelings, learn more about the person who has passed, and give them a send-off worthy of their life, personality, and the legacy they’d love to leave behind.
Written by Alana Luna
Alana Musselman (Luna) is a versatile storyteller with over a decade of experience writing for diverse industries. Her writing has been featured on prestigious brands such as WW (Weight Watchers), Amazon, and Penta.
Edited by Katelynne Shepard
Katelynne Shepard is a writer, editor and SME who is proficient at crafting and reviewing content. She has been a full-time copywriter and editor since 2011 and has written content for Fortune 500 companies, independent law firms, indie publishers, small-business owners and mainstream websites. She specializes in parenting, lifestyle, family law, personal injury, criminal law, immigration law, astrology, personal finance, education and health care. In addition to thousands of e-commerce product and category descriptions, Verle's work includes SEO blogs, social media posts and long-form informational articles.
Subject Matter Expert Sarah Stasick
Sarah Stasik is a Six Sigma project manager and freelance writer who covers topics ranging from personal finance and small business management to insurance and healthcare. Prior to making the move from corporate ladder to freelance shuffle, Sarah worked as a Revenue Cycle Manager for a Fortune 500 healthcare business. https://sarahstasik.com/