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Ongoing Support & Healing from Grief After a Loved One’s Passing

By: Serena Tanner • Edited by: Alyssa Hill • Subject Matter Expert Reviewed by: Brindusa Vanta, MD • 6 cited sources • Updated Oct 29, 2024

Immediately after a loss, your social support system likely circled around you, offering assistance and a shoulder to cry on. However, time goes on after loss, even if your feelings seem frozen in time. Support may start to wane as people go back to their normal lives while you’re still reeling. Grief knows no timeline and if you’ve lost someone you were especially close to, like a parent, spouse, child, or close friend, you may still feel devastated or adrift even weeks or months after. 

Alternatively, you may be the one on the outside watching someone you love struggle with grief. They may need support they’re no longer receiving. You can provide that help, comforting them and locating resources to assist during this difficult time.

Key Takeaways

• People need support during the grieving process.
• Support can come from friends, family, support groups, and professionals.
• Online support groups provide access to people who understand your loss, even when they aren’t local.

Long-Term Strategies For Those Grieving the Death of a Loved One

It can be hard to find joy in things or even a sense of normalcy after losing someone, especially if that person was part of your daily life. Healing from grief and loss takes time, often more than people realize. You may grieve deeply for months or even years, and you might not know how to cope with it. Seeking practical solutions to navigate through this difficult time can help.

Be Patient With Yourself

Grief is a normal human reaction to loss. While every person’s grief is unique, the experience itself is universal. Everyone has some level of familiarity with it^[1]. 

As you grieve, give yourself plenty of grace and time. Grief isn’t a state but rather a process of accepting life without your loved one. It takes time to adjust.

Seek Support

Your support system should rally around you when you need them. However, you may need to ask for support sometimes. Spend time with your friends and loved ones and let them know when you’re struggling. 

If you feel like your social circle doesn’t understand your loss, you might find a support group helpful. If your grief feels insurmountable, you may need more intensive help from a professional, such as a counselor^[2].

Set Realistic Routines and Goals

Your routines may change dramatically after loss. For example, you may have lost a spouse who’s no longer there to take the trash to the curb or to walk the dog. As you set your new routines, be sure to keep them realistic. Don’t overwhelm yourself with tasks and goals you’re not ready for.

Having a routine also helps you integrate self-care into your life. Everything from bathing to eating and sleeping can help keep your body healthy while you grieve. Plus, taking care of yourself improves your mental health^[3].

Creating manageable routines and goals and adopting a healthy lifestyle benefits everyone, but is especially useful for those experiencing grief. Routines offer structure and stability, reducing emotional burdens. Goals provide direction and purpose. Maintaining physical health promotes both physical and mental well-being, enhancing resilience and coping during challenging times.

Dr. Brindusa Vanta, MD

Create Ways to Honor Your Loved One

Life may be for the living, but that doesn’t mean you have to forget about those you’ve lost. Often, people find ways to honor their loved ones and draw deep comfort from these little rituals. Perhaps you start a garden or you choose to drink coffee out of your loved one’s favorite mug every morning. The opportunities to honor your loved one are endless, but can be of significant help to you while you’re finding ways to cope.

Ways to Comfort Someone Experiencing Long-Term Grief

When your loved one struggles with grief, it can be difficult to watch. However, you’re in a position to provide immense, meaningful support while they navigate their grief.

Signs a Grieving Loved One Needs Support

In some cases, grief can become debilitating and doesn’t improve, even with time. When this happens, it’s known as complicated grief. This includes signs such as:

• Continuing to experience intense pain and rumination after losing a loved one
• Hyperfocusing on a loved one’s death or excessively avoiding reminders of them
• Persistent, long-lasting pining for the deceased
• Struggling to accept their loved one’s death
• Numbness
• Isolating themselves
• Showing signs of deep depression, guilt, or self-blame
• Turning to substance use in an attempt to dull the pain of their loss

Some people develop prolonged grief disorder, characterized by intense, persistent emotions and difficulty adapting, lasting more than 1 year in adults (6 months or more in children and adolescents). Prolonged grief disorder is best treated with complicated grief therapy, which combines cognitive behavioral therapy and techniques to help those affected by this condition accept the loss and find meaning and satisfaction in life.

Dr. Brindusa Vanta, MD

Offer Practical Support

Some of the most meaningful support comes from practical actions. Anything from sending them meals to offering help with childcare or chores can be a big help. Consider offering help with shopping, seasonal chores, or tasks that their lost loved one often did. It lets them focus on healing. 

Be a Source of Emotional Support

As a friend or family member, you can help provide extensive emotional support during your loved one’s bereavement. This can be as simple as reaching out from time to time to check in on them or when you’re thinking of the deceased. Alternatively, you might invite them to social activities or opportunities to get out of the house and connect with people who care about them. 

The most important thing you can do, however, is provide an empathetic ear and a shoulder to lean on. Let your loved one know that they can reach out any time and hear them out with compassion and kindness^[4].

Accessing Local & Community Grief Support Services

Grief support groups can play a major role in helping you find a sense of stability and normalcy in life again. Reaching out to others who understand your experience helps you see that there’s hope for a better tomorrow. These support groups often include people in different stages of grief who can share stories of how they cope with difficult situations.

Often, you can find local support groups by searching “[your city] grief support” or something similar. Beyond that, you may find grief support groups at hospitals, funeral homes, and places of worship. If they don’t have groups, they may have resources to help you find one^[5].

Finding Grief Support Groups Online

Many organizations offer online support groups, both through video chats and discussion boards. If you struggle to leave your home or live somewhere rural, this can provide essential access to the support services you need. They’re often convenient, as you can participate from anywhere with an internet connection. Such flexibility can make it easier for you to participate regularly, as well as help people who prefer more privacy or anonymity^[6].

Grief Isn’t Timed or Linear, Neither Is the Need For Support

It’s normal to grieve, and that grief often extends beyond the first days and weeks when your loved ones rally around you. If you’re struggling to cope with the loss of your loved one, you may still feel like you need extra assistance. This is also normal. It’s okay to ask for help when you need it or seek support from alternative resources. Healing from grief isn’t easy, but with a support system around you, you can do it.

If you’re watching a loved one grieve, remember that their grief journey isn’t linear. They may have times when they seem okay and others when they need more support. Listen compassionately and offer assistance when you can. Your presence as they grieve can be a major contributor to their recovery.

Written by Serena Tanner

Serena Tanner attended the University of Washington, where she earned a degree in philosophy after many detours delving into human rights, law, psychology, and social work. Health and holistic wellness topics continue to hold a special place in her heart. When she's not reading or writing, she can be found exploring the Pacific Northwest with her two children and dogs.

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Edited by Alyssa Hill

Alyssa Hill is an experienced editor and health writer. She holds an M.A. in journalism from the University of Arizona and is also a certified somatic practitioner. A former content manager for multiple start-ups in the marketing and health/medical industries, Alyssa has extensive experience writing medically accurate and well-researched content, editing articles for clarity and SEO, adhering to strict guidelines, and ensuring all content is up to standards.

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Subject Matter Expert Brindusa Vanta, MD

Dr. Brindusa Vanta is a healthcare professional, researcher, and medical subject matter expert . She earned her MD degree from "Iuliu Hatieganu" University of Medicine, Romania. She has a special interest in mental health and has collaborated with psychologists and other mental health practitioners on various research projects focused on therapies to manage depression, age-related cognitive decline, trauma and stressor- related conditions.