How to Cope With the Death & Loss of a Loved One
Every relationship you have is unique. Every loss is as well. While grief is a universal human experience, it certainly isn’t identical. After you lose a loved one, your life changes, and you have to learn to live without them. Losses can have different impacts based on the type of relationship you have. Losing family members, spouses, friends, coworkers, and pets can be difficult, but you can heal with healthy coping strategies and time.
Key Takeaways
- Grief can occur from any kind of loss, from family members and spouses to friends, coworkers, teachers, and pets.
- Every grief journey is unique and personal.
- Coping mechanisms, such as memorials, honoring lost loved ones, finding support, and self-care, can help you heal.
How to Deal With Grief After Losing a Family Member
The loss of a family member can leave behind a mix of overwhelming emotions. Whether you’ve lost a parent, grandparent, sibling, or child, you’re left wondering how life can continue without someone who played a key role in your life. Grief is a universal human experience, but it is also deeply personal[1]. How you grieve will loosely follow a set of stages[2], but they are fluid. You may go forward or backward through the stages while dealing with grief, but the end goal is to reach a state of acceptance in which you can manage your day-to-day responsibilities without being overwhelmed by negative emotions.
When someone important to you passes away, it can be hard to adjust. During this difficult time, leaning on your friends and family members can help. However, you may also need the help of a professional counselor if you can’t cope on your own[3].
Many people describe honoring their loved ones as therapeutic during bereavement. Rituals, such as leaving flowers at their grave or having ways you choose to remember them on important days, can help you honor their memory and also help you feel better[4].
How to Cope After the Death of a Spouse
When you said your wedding vows, you swore until death do you part. Losing a spouse, someone who has been deeply intertwined in your life, can be a visceral experience. You lose your life partner, someone you probably slept next to and spent the vast majority of your time with. This pain can come with a profound sense of loneliness as you realize you no longer have that person who you shared everything with.
Coping with such a major loss can be difficult, as your day-to-day life now looks vastly different than it did before. However, finding ways to fill that social void, such as going to support groups for widows and widowers, can help ward off loneliness. If your grief becomes too much to handle on your own, a professional counselor may also be able to help you come to terms with your loss.
You may also find comfort in finding ways to maintain your connection to your spouse. Even little things, like enjoying coffee in their favorite mug each morning or keeping a photo by your bedside, may help during this time.
How Long Does It Take to Grieve a Spouse?
There’s no specific timeline to grieve the loss of your spouse. Everyone’s grieving process occurs at their own pace, but time can heal. However, acute grief symptoms typically start to ease by 6 months after the loss[5].
How to Deal With Grief After the Loss of a Friend or Teacher
Losing someone close to you, like a friend or particularly influential teacher or mentor, can also weigh heavily on your heart. While they may not have been in your innermost circle like close family members or your spouse, they’re still important to you, and you’re allowed to grieve all the same.
You may find comfort in honoring their memory. For example, writing letters to the deceased can help you find closure. You may be able to confront unfinished business or feel as if you’re maintaining a connection to them[6].
Creating some sort of memorial can be helpful. While many people use a place of burial as a memorial place, you might choose to create something like building a bench or planting a garden. This can give you a tangible location or object that you can visit to reminisce[7].
Sharing stories with others who knew them, such as at a memorial service or on their social media pages, can also help you connect with others feeling the same loss you are.
How to Handle the Loss of a Coworker
The death of a coworker can be particularly challenging. While you may not have been necessarily close to the deceased, they were still involved to some degree in your daily life. If you were close to them, you may find yourself unsure how to navigate your grief at work while still remaining professional.
You may qualify for support from your workplace to help with this difficult time. For example, you may be able to get bereavement leave or access to bereavement counseling through an employee assistance program. Speaking to your supervisor can help you find solutions to help you manage your grief at work.
Some people find ways to honor their coworker’s memory at work. Creating a memorial book or bulletin board can help you remember them. Others may choose to collect money for a charity they knew their coworker was fond of or to give to the deceased’s family as a show of support[8].
How to Cope With the Loss of a Pet
Your furred, feathered, or scaled companion is often an important part of your family. Unfortunately, most animals kept as pets have much shorter life spans than people do, and their losses are often inevitable. Having them in your life may be a profoundly rewarding experience, but means the loss of them can cause you significant grief. It’s normal to mourn the loss of your pet and to go through the same nonlinear grief process as you miss them.
You may find comfort in creating a memorial for your pet. If you had them cremated and have their ashes in an urn, perhaps you’d like to set it up on your mantle with your pet’s collar or another meaningful item.
If you have lost your beloved pet, allow yourself to experience the grief. Do not hide it. Pets are part of the family, and we share special bonds with them. Some people may struggle to understand and may feel you are overreacting. Know that your grief is valid and absolutely normal. The special relationship you had with your pet deserves to be mourned and remembered in your own way.
Dr. Brindusa Vanta, MD
Friends or family members who have lost beloved pets before can lend a sympathetic ear, validating your emotions and providing support while you grieve. Don’t be afraid to reach out if you need it.
If you feel like you need more support, you may find pet loss support groups particularly helpful. You’ll find people who, like you, have lost their beloved companion and need a little extra help coping with it[9]. Some national resources, like the Pet Compassion Careline[10] and the Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement, offer grief support.
Grief Is as Unique as Your Loved One
Your grief journey is your own, and it won’t look exactly like anyone else’s. Whether you’ve lost a family member, friend, coworker, or someone else, it’s okay for you to miss and mourn them. Support can be a major factor in how you heal, as can other coping mechanisms. No matter how you choose to grieve, remember that you’re allowed to. Be sure to take care of yourself and lean on those close to you for support. While the time immediately following a loss can be devastatingly overwhelming, it gets easier. If it feels like it’s too much to bear, consider speaking to a compassionate professional who can help you learn how to cope with death. You can and will heal with time, support, compassion, and self-care.
Don’t be afraid to seek professional advice if you are grieving. Therapies such as cognitive behavioral therapy and acceptance and commitment therapy are valuable methods used by mental health experts to help you manage grief. Self-care during grieving is also important — try to stay active, eat healthy, sleep at regular times, practice mindfulness meditation for stress relief, and spend time with your loved ones.
Dr. Brindusa Vanta, MD
Written by Serena Tanner
Serena Tanner attended the University of Washington, where she earned a degree in philosophy after many detours delving into human rights, law, psychology, and social work. Health and holistic wellness topics continue to hold a special place in her heart. When she's not reading or writing, she can be found exploring the Pacific Northwest with her two children and dogs.
Edited by Katelynne Shepard
Katelynne Shepard is a writer, editor and SME who is proficient at crafting and reviewing content. She has been a full-time copywriter and editor since 2011 and has written content for Fortune 500 companies, independent law firms, indie publishers, small-business owners and mainstream websites. She specializes in parenting, lifestyle, family law, personal injury, criminal law, immigration law, astrology, personal finance, education and health care. In addition to thousands of e-commerce product and category descriptions, Verle's work includes SEO blogs, social media posts and long-form informational articles.
Subject Matter Expert Brindusa Vanta, MD
Dr. Brindusa Vanta is a healthcare professional, researcher, and medical subject matter expert . She earned her MD degree from "Iuliu Hatieganu" University of Medicine, Romania. She has a special interest in mental health and has collaborated with psychologists and other mental health practitioners on various research projects focused on therapies to manage depression, age-related cognitive decline, trauma and stressor- related conditions.
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