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Understanding Traumatic Grief & How to Cope

By: Ashlee Shefer • Edited by: Katelynne Shepard • Subject Matter Expert Reviewed by: Brindusa Vanta, MD • 2 cited sources • Updated Nov 11, 2024

Traumatic grief is a profound, often debilitating response to a sudden, unexpected loss. It causes an array of complex emotions and thoughts that can adversely affect your mental health, making it difficult to navigate daily life. Although grief is a normal reaction to loss, traumatic grief may be more intense and last longer than other types of grief, especially without effective coping skills or treatment. 

This article explores traumatic grief and how it relates to post-traumatic stress disorder. It also provides tips on coping with difficult emotions after a sudden loss. 

Key Takeaways

• Traumatic grief is a prolonged, debilitating response to a sudden, unexpected loss. 
• Traumatic grief can cause a range of physical and mental health symptoms. 
• PTSD and traumatic grief can occur together and present overlapping symptoms. 
• Self-care activities and professional treatment can facilitate hope and healing. 

What Is Traumatic Grief?

Traumatic grief occurs after the sudden, unexpected, or violent loss of a loved one. Also known as complicated grief, it differs from other forms of grief due to its intense, prolonged nature and connection to trauma^[1]. You may experience a persistent longing for your lost loved one, overwhelming sadness, and feelings of emotional detachment or numbness. Having an existing mental health condition, such as depression or separation anxiety, can increase your risk of developing traumatic grief. 

Traumatic Grief Symptoms

Everyone experiences traumatic grief differently, meaning there isn’t a right way to grieve the loss of a loved one. You may filter through various unpleasant emotions, including anger, sadness, helplessness, and fear. Other physical and emotional traumatic grief symptoms include:

• Difficulty sleeping
• Nightmares
• Flashbacks
• Anxiety
• Feelings of guilt or shame
• Avoiding thoughts or activities associated with the deceased person
• Shakiness or trembling
• Nausea
• Loss of appetite
• Feeling emotionally detached or numb
• Loss of interest in pleasurable activities

Traumatic grief may also contribute to the development or worsening of other mental health issues, including depression and PTSD. Symptoms are often more intense and pervasive than those experienced with traditional grief, affecting a person’s daily functioning and ability to care for themselves. 

Traumatic grief has been described in children as well. Although children experience similar symptoms to adults, such as intense sadness, guilt, anxiety, or anger, they may also manifest with regressive behaviors like bed-wetting and more physical complaints such as stomach aches.

Dr. Brindusa Vanta, MD

The Connection Between PTSD & Traumatic Bereavement

Although traumatic bereavement and PTSD represent two unique conditions, they can occur together when the events surrounding a loved one’s death are traumatic, painful, or difficult to accept. Examples of these events include:

• Natural disasters
• Chronic illnesses
• Accidents, such as a car crash
• Violent assaults
• Suicide

When you perceive an event as traumatic, you may have difficulty processing or accepting what happened. This can cause ongoing psychological distress, prolonging or disrupting the natural grieving process. You may experience intense grief with PTSD-like symptoms or develop co-occurring PTSD and traumatic grief.

Many Americans suffered from traumatic grief and PTSD after 9/11. Studies found that PTSD symptoms were the most common. Furthermore, about 1 in 5 adults who were directly exposed to the disaster or injured in the event had PTSD symptoms 5 to 6 years after the attack.

Dr. Brindusa Vanta, MD

Symptoms between the two conditions commonly overlap and exacerbate each other. These symptoms include:

• Intrusive thoughts. Both conditions can cause recurring, distressing thoughts and memories of your lost loved one or the traumatic event. 
• Avoidance behaviors. You may avoid people, places, situations, or activities that trigger painful memories of your loss. 
• Emotional numbness. Both conditions commonly cause feelings of emotional detachment or numbness from others, making it difficult to maintain interpersonal relationships or daily responsibilities. 
• Hyperarousal. Arousal symptoms, including being easily startled, experiencing heightened anxiety, or having trouble sleeping, can also occur. 

Healing from the traumatic loss of a loved one can be challenging when you’re struggling with conflicting emotions and unpleasant symptoms. However, seeking support and developing healthy coping skills can help you process your thoughts and find emotional relief. 

How to Cope With Traumatic Grief After a Sudden Loss

Everyone copes with traumatic grief differently depending on the severity of their symptoms. For some individuals, focusing on self-care can alleviate distressing thoughts or emotions and improve overall mood. Self-care strategies to consider to help cope with grief may include:

• Maintaining a healthy lifestyle. Physical health can impact your mental well-being. Maintaining a healthy lifestyle that involves eating a balanced diet, getting enough sleep, and establishing a daily exercise routine can improve your mood. 
• Practicing mindfulness. Being aware of your emotions and how they affect you can help you avoid destructive behaviors. Try practicing mindfulness or meditation to tune in to your thoughts and feelings. 
• Engaging in physical activity. Physical exercise can improve mood, sleep, and overall quality of life^[2]. Consider engaging in physical activities, such as walking, running, practicing yoga, gardening, or swimming, when feelings of stress or anxiety become overwhelming.
• Finding creative outlets. If you aren’t sure how to express your grief verbally, you can try using creative outlets to reflect on your emotions and experiences. These can include art, music, or journaling. 

In some cases, traumatic grief and any accompanying PTSD symptoms may benefit from professional treatment, such as grief therapy or counseling. During treatment, a mental health professional helps you identify and process emotions to develop positive coping mechanisms that facilitate healing.

They also create a personalized treatment plan outlining your challenges, concerns, and goals, as well as recommended therapies and supportive services. Common therapies that help with traumatic grief and PTSD symptoms include:

• Cognitive-behavioral therapy. CBT helps you understand how your negative thoughts or feelings impact your behavior. It also teaches healthier coping techniques. 
• Complicated grief therapy. CGT facilitates healing by helping you adapt to the loss through various exposure techniques, explore your grief reactions, and establish meaningful goals. 
• Acceptance and commitment therapy. ACT encourages you to acknowledge and accept the loss and your associated feelings. After acceptance, you commit to improving your thoughts and behaviors by setting goals and developing new skills.  

Additionally, joining a support group to connect with others sharing similar experiences can help you process traumatic grief. Support groups provide safe, supportive environments to share experiences, discuss troublesome thoughts, or seek advice from others. Hearing other people’s stories can help you feel less alone and normalize your thoughts or reactions to a traumatic situation. 

Seek Support to Overcome Traumatic Grief and Enable Healing

Traumatic grief can cause intense, debilitating symptoms, making it difficult to move on after the unexpected or violent death of a loved one. It presents differently in each person and can take weeks, months, or years to recover from. However, seeking support, practicing self-care, and understanding that grief is a unique, personal journey can help you find the hope and guidance needed to heal. 

Consider trying the coping strategies mentioned in this article and building a strong support network of trusted friends and family. Ultimately, navigating grief becomes more manageable when you acknowledge your feelings and ask for help. Remember that you’re not alone, and grief support is available if you need it. 

Written by Ashlee Shefer

Ashlee is an experienced freelance writer specializing in health and wellness. Her background includes working as a content writer, SEO strategist and social media specialist. Throughout the years, she has written content on topics including mental health, substance abuse, therapies, medications, senior care, end-of-life care, insurance and legal assistance. She strives to create content that communicates complex and often sensitive topics into easy-to-understand language to help readers make important decisions regarding their health and well-being.

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Edited by Katelynne Shepard

Katelynne Shepard is a writer, editor and SME who is proficient at crafting and reviewing content. She has been a full-time copywriter and editor since 2011 and has written content for Fortune 500 companies, independent law firms, indie publishers, small-business owners and mainstream websites. She specializes in parenting, lifestyle, family law, personal injury, criminal law, immigration law, astrology, personal finance, education and health care. In addition to thousands of e-commerce product and category descriptions, Verle's work includes SEO blogs, social media posts and long-form informational articles.

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Subject Matter Expert Brindusa Vanta, MD

Dr. Brindusa Vanta is a healthcare professional, researcher, and medical subject matter expert . She earned her MD degree from "Iuliu Hatieganu" University of Medicine, Romania. She has a special interest in mental health and has collaborated with psychologists and other mental health practitioners on various research projects focused on therapies to manage depression, age-related cognitive decline, trauma and stressor- related conditions.