Coping with Suicide Loss: Grief Management & Resources

When someone you love commits suicide, you can be left with a person-sized hole in your heart and a lot of guilt and intense, complex emotions. Coping with a loved one’s suicide is a massive undertaking, but with the right tools and support, healing is possible. From learning ways to cope with your strong feelings to finding resources that can assist you during this difficult time, you can help yourself recover from a sudden, devastating loss.

Key Takeaways

• Grief occurs after any loss. It’s a universal experience.
• Grief after a suicide loss is particularly complex and may lead to the development of complicated grief.
• Coping strategies and support groups provide comfort and can assist with the healing process.

Understanding Grief After a Loved One’s Suicide

While any loss can be tragic, losing someone to suicide can be particularly devastating as you grapple with the circumstances surrounding their death. You may find yourself dwelling on the death repeatedly. It’s normal to grieve any sort of loss. However, dealing with suicide is often particularly complex.

People mourning their loved one’s suicide are at an increased risk for major depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, suicidal behaviors, and complicated grief^[1].

The Complexities of Complicated Grief

Suicide grief is often a particularly intense type of grief. It can cause a form of mourning known as complicated grief or persistent complex bereavement disorder^[2]. Someone struggling with complicated grief may experience long-lasting, severely painful emotions that make it difficult to resume normal daily living. While normal grief tends to resolve with time, complicated grief leaves you in a heightened state of mourning without resolution or healing. Someone with complicated grief may show signs such as:

• Intense pain and rumination over their loved one’s death
• Extreme focus or excessive avoidance or reminders of the loved one
• Numbness or detachment
• Feeling life lost its purpose or meaning
• Difficulty completing daily tasks
• Self-isolation
• Believing you could have stopped the death

If someone you love has committed suicide, you’re likely feeling a range of emotions, from misplaced guilt for not noticing the signs or preventing the action to anger or confusion. While everyone grieves differently, grief that interferes with daily living is a common sign you need extra support.

A Suicide Survivor’s Journey to Healing

Everyone’s grief journey is unique. While grief is commonly presented in a set of steps, it’s often non-linear, and in some cases, you may find yourself oscillating from stage to stage as you come to terms with your loss. 

As you embark on this journey, some strategies can help. Don’t be afraid to reach out for support from professionals or your loved ones during this period of mourning.

Know That It’s Not Your Fault

In the wake of a suicide, survivors might ask themselves whether they missed the warning signs or if there was anything they could have done differently to prevent it. Guilt and self-blame are particularly common in those left behind.

However, it’s not your fault. Suicide is a complex issue and a leading cause of death^[3]. In many cases, the signs of suicide are unrecognized^[4].

If you feel like blaming yourself because a loved one died by suicide, remember that suicide has strong links with mental health conditions. Studies from psychological autopsies found that over 90% of completed suicides involved one or more mental disorders, with depression being on top of the list.

Dr. Brindusa Vanta, MD

Feel Your Emotions and Talk About Your Experience

As you grieve, it’s crucial that you allow yourself to feel your emotions. This helps you process and accept your loss. Your emotions, no matter what they are, are valid. While many people feel there’s stigma in talking about suicide, finding safe places to speak and share your feelings can be a major help. 

You’re allowed to speak about the person who has died, and you’re allowed to say their name. Reminisce about them if you want to. Discuss them and what you miss with loved ones. Safe spaces to share your story can be found in support groups or within your inner circle.

Engage in Coping Strategies to Help You Heal

As you grieve, coping strategies can help you move toward acceptance. While you’ll likely always miss and grieve your lost loved one, especially if they were someone in your immediate family or closest friends, it gets easier to live over time. 

Practical coping strategies can include:

• Creative activities, such as writing, creating art, or journaling
• Exercise 
• Mindfulness practices, such as meditation or grounding techniques
• Taking care of yourself by eating healthily and sleeping enough
• Having compassion and patience for yourself — it’s normal for mourning to last months in some cases^[5]

Your grief is unique, and the strategies that work for you will be as well. Try several different coping strategies to decide which ones give you the most relief or help more than others. 

Losing someone to suicide can be extremely painful. When you feel down and in pain, it’s normal to want to isolate yourself. However, it’s more beneficial to do the exact opposite when you’re ready. Even if it’s just grabbing lunch or calling a friend, it’s important to stay socially connected. Share your story with people you trust and feel safe with.

Dr. Brindusa Vanta, MD

Seek Support to Manage Your Grief

The people around you are some of your biggest supporters, and when you’re grieving the loss of a loved one, they’re there to help. Relying on family and friends during this difficult time can help you grieve. 

If you’re having a hard time talking about your loss with those closest to you, you might find a support group to be more suitable. Support groups for suicide loss survivors can introduce you to people who have experienced the same kind of loss as you have. Others who are further along on their healing journey can provide insight into how they’ve learned to live post-loss while also providing a listening ear from an empathetic perspective.

The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention^[6] hosts a find-a-support-group tool for U.S. and international suicide bereavement groups. It includes lists of both in-person and virtual groups. 

Resources for Coping With a Suicide Loss

Several organizations play a key role in helping suicide loss survivors cope with their grief. Some of the most common include:

• National Suicide Prevention Hotline. This 24/7 hotline connects people with trained crisis workers who can also provide referrals to local mental health services. While commonly considered one of the main suicide prevention resources in the United States, it also maintains resources for loss survivors^[7].
• American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention also hosts several resources for suicide loss survivors, including access to support group databases and detailed practical information about what to do following a loss^[8].
• Alliance of Hope for Suicide Loss Survivors. This organization also collects numerous resources to help post-loss, including how to navigate your grief journey and the challenges you may find. It also maintains a database of support groups, both online and in person. Many of the online support groups also target specific topics, such as grieving for dads or grieving for women who have lost their husbands^[9].

Beyond those, you may also find help from online communities dedicated to discussing suicide loss. These allow you to connect with people around the world and share your experiences, often anonymously. 

Local support groups and counseling services can also provide key assistance during your bereavement period. 

Managing Your Grief Is Possible

Losing someone to suicide is often shocking, leaving visceral pain behind in the space your loved one once occupied. Such a sudden, shocking loss can cause the development of complicated grief, in which it may be difficult to maintain your day-to-day life as you find yourself overwhelmed with emotions.

Learning how to cope and where to find support can be the lifeline you need during this tumultuous time. As you grieve, remember to be compassionate toward yourself and recognize that, while grief is universal, it’s also a unique, personal journey with no defined time line or path. As you learn to navigate your grief, these coping mechanisms discussed above can assist you in finding hope and healing after loss. You don’t have to do it alone. Help is there if you need it.

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Edited by Katelynne Shepard

Katelynne Shepard is a writer, editor and SME who is proficient at crafting and reviewing content. She has been a full-time copywriter and editor since 2011 and has written content for Fortune 500 companies, independent law firms, indie publishers, small-business owners and mainstream websites. She specializes in parenting, lifestyle, family law, personal injury, criminal law, immigration law, astrology, personal finance, education and health care. In addition to thousands of e-commerce product and category descriptions, Verle's work includes SEO blogs, social media posts and long-form informational articles.

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Subject Matter Expert Brindusa Vanta, MD

Dr. Brindusa Vanta is a healthcare professional, researcher, and medical subject matter expert . She earned her MD degree from "Iuliu Hatieganu" University of Medicine, Romania. She has a special interest in mental health and has collaborated with psychologists and other mental health practitioners on various research projects focused on therapies to manage depression, age-related cognitive decline, trauma and stressor- related conditions.